A Muslim woman wearing hijab (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Last September, I decided I wanted to go out in public for the first time wearing a hijab. I am not a Muslim woman, but I find the topics discussed around hijab, niqab and burqas to be fascinating. It was a little mini- experiment for myself to find out how others would look at or treat me.
I wanted to go to Sam’s Club with a very dear friend of mine. She has been my friend for 15 years, and she is what I consider to be an open and “spiritual” woman. She is 20 years older than me, and also an immigrant to the USA from Ukraine. When I told her I was planning to wear a hijab to the store, she totally freaked out. She was the last person on earth I thought would give me a hard time about it!
“What? Why? Don’t you know it is September 11th? People are going to stare at you. I don’t want to shop with you if you are going to wear that thing.” She said to me.
I didn’t know it was September 11th until she mentioned it. That made me more convinced that I had to wear it for my own personal power. I almost took it off because I really didn’t want my friend to be so upset. The 9-11 comment threw me to the moon. If she hadn’t mentioned that, the experiment would have been halted.
So, ultimately I was grateful for that extreme nudge of ignorance. That made me so determined to go through with whatever words, stares, judgements I would have to face. I was anxious and nervous driving to the store. I almost took it off as we pulled into the parking lot. I regained my courage, looked in the mirror, and reminded myself that I was beautiful, smart, and strong.
We walked into the store, nobody looked strangely at me. People smiled and said “Hello” to my child. The people on the “outside” didn’t know I was not Muslim, nor did they seem to care. They also didn’t know how self-conscious and anxious I was wearing it, because I had never worn one in public before. I had tried one on a few times at home. I think they can be beautiful headscarfs. I like the way they look sometimes, and it is a comforting feeling for me to cover my head at times.
I was extremely self-aware and conscious of everything I heard and saw. It really was interesting and empowering for me to go through and experience for myself.
The only person who treated me any differently was one of my best friends. She was terrified that people would talk about her, or look at her strangely for shopping with an “American caucasian woman in hijab”.
Those words and that moment defined her, not me. We both made it a big deal, long before we knew what the actual experience would be like. To me, that mentality that we both shared was just fear of the unknown.
My fears and self doubts were challenged that day. I will never forget it. I would challenge any woman to wear a hijab for a few hours out in public. It may change the way you look out at the world. It may change the way you percieve yourself and others.
I really wish I could explain how I felt before, during and after my hijab wearing experience. I can only recommend you try it, especially before voicing opinions on how it oppresses women. I believe it can and does in certain societies, but it can also be a tool of empowerment and self-awareness if we choose to view it that way.
Someday, I plan do the same experiment wearing a full niqab if I can find one!